Sunday, September 25, 2011

A new level of Fail

Well Games Day was this weekend and in true GW fashion, they revealed...ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.  Really GW?  Well I guess they're saving the big reveal of the next codex for UK Games Day and giving every other continent the shaft like every year.  Wait...(holds finger to earpiece that doesn't actually exist)Yes, I'm just being notified that this WAS Games Day UK.  Really GW?  REALLY??

So you don't show off any sneak peaks or new stuff at every other Games Day because everyone else on the planet just wants to pay for a Games Day ticket to wait in the long-ass line for Forge World for 9 hours and still pay full retail (it's called a sale, GW.  Look it up.  You are from the country that invented our shared language so you should know what that means, right?)  That's cool though because we all know that the only good Games Day is always the one held out in Matt Ward's front yard...or Narnia or whatever you brits have over there.  It's a magical realm that every gamer dreams of going to because you actually show your shit off.  Yes, you place your upcoming goodies and WIP stuff in an exibit at the exibition that you YOURSELVES own and operate.  It's not like you have these things so you can sneak over to the Privateer Press booth and see what they're developing and if it's worth an IP-hammer lawsuit because you own the patent to the human imagination.  No one esle holds a big "kiss my ass" party and then revelas a big pile of nothing (Oh, Blizzard...I didn't see you there.  Go back to making Diablo 3 and goddamn it wise up and put my curse-bitch Necromancer back in there where he belongs)

So you don't like leaks and you don't want people to know what you do up there at the Legion of Doom while you think of new ways to destroy your own business, but how about while you're hosting your big fuck-all press conference you give people something to give a damn about?  Rumors have it Necrons are coming fairly soon...could you have one goddamn Necron running around.  Maybe hiding behind one of the few Finecrap models that wasn't casted so shitty it looks like a hobbyist with Parkinsons took a Dremel to it (too far?)

Let's look at other industries that rely on the new to survive.  How about video games.  Do Video game companies make a post a week before a game drops on their own site saying "Hey go buy this next week!"  No.  They have screenshots out for months...they show things that don't always make the final version.  How about movies? they already have trailers for next summer's blockbusters.  Cars?  There's the big auto shows where you see concepts that may not see production for years if at all.  Guess it's just you guys that want to keep your product a secret.  How's that business plan been working out for you lately, huh?  For the love of the Chaos Gods even THQ had something more impressive to look at then you did at your own event.  There are times when the Super Bowl commercials are the only reason to watch but every few years the NFL gives us a kick-ass game between those ads.  Is it too much to ask that you give just a little bit of excitement at your own event?

I will say that there was some love from Forgeworld, and as usual they did some beautiful things, but the average gamer doesn't buy much Forge World.  In this miserable economy (and yes so-called "experts" We're still in the hasn't ended.  If you didn't have those cushy government advisor jobs you might notice but that's another rant) most gamers are on a Hyundai budget and while it's great to see the new Bentley and dream, it all comes down to that Sonata that I can afford.
So for my brother gamers across the pond that got conned into buying a ticket to nowhere, I'm sorry.  I'm sorry that you had to waste your hard earned money that you are fortunate to have a job to earn in the Second Great Depression on a ticket to a showless show.  I'm sorry that you went to the strip club on sweatsuit day.  I'm sorry that the company we all still love, no matter how many times he hits us for making the coffee too weak only to swear he'll be better to you in the future made you pay for the honor of buying the same stuff you can get from your local store at the same price or cheaper online.  I have to say that because GW never will.

--Edit-- I apologize to Parkinson's sufferers.  It is a serious disease.  And besides, I don't think even that would screw up a sculpt as bad as a finecrap casting.


  1. I think that was too far only insomuch as it might have insulted the poor Parkinsons sufferers.

  2. Excellent rant!
    Wait- so no one lined up to get a gander at that Pirate thingy they're shillin'?

  3. 'I'm sorry that you went to the strip club on sweatsuit day.'


    I agree with everything you said. It's on-going but as with the pre-release of deadmoneyonthehighseas and now this, the show about... Nothing... I mean Forge World are always amazing, but they offer a new release every week anyway so it's nothing to see new product from them.

    The parent company really need to lift their fucking game a bit though, the retail experience is generally shit, there are no new-product previews, no release schedule, no game demos. It's like a black hole where occasionally something good will get cast out and we're supposed to froth at the mouth and get out our credit cards.

    How the shit am I supposed to be able to plan anything?! It's not like they have a competitor in the manufacture of GW related products either so showing of their new 'zero-emission hybrid' will cause 'other automotive brand' to launch a cheaper, sexier variant.

    They own a one make race. I'm not sure why they don't have an open house approach where we all get to see the development, it would most certainly play into their hands!

    Ohhhhh, Monday rant. Feels gooooood!